Twenty weeks has arrived, and just like that I am half way there! Up until this past Monday, I was fairly certain that we were going to have a baby girl. I’ll blame it on the old wive’s tales, even though I always scored 50/50 on those. Therefore, going into our anatomy ultrasound, my husband was convinced it was a boy and I was thinking the opposite. As our technician examined the different parts of our baby, she typed the words, “It’s a boy!!”, on the screen. My husband and I looked at each other and just laughed as I told him he was right. Although I was initially really excited about the news, it was soon followed by a bit of apprehension, because somehow boys sound a bit more difficult to raise. I’m not sure why. I do have three nephews who I adore and have never felt were difficult, but maybe it’s the fear that traits that have been seen as weaknesses in me might just be passed on to my son. For example, I have always been told that I am extremely sensitive. The truth is that I am. It is so difficult for me not to cry, whether it’s because I’m in trouble, or I let my boss down, or I’m in an argument with my husband, or someone offends me. I try so hard to not let things get to me so quickly, but the hurt builds up faster than I can sometimes control.
I know boys are “supposed” to grow up and be tough and masculine. But to be honest, I think I would much rather my son grew up with an empathetic and understanding spirit, just with more strength and confidence than I possess. I hope he grows up loving and respecting others, choosing to build them up. I hope he learns that hard work is admirable and giving is honorable. And I hope he lives up to his name, Declan, “man of prayer”, because I truly desire that he grows up loving the Lord and trusting in Him in all things.
To view past baby bump style updates, click here.
WHAT I WORE AT 19 WEEKS: